The Art of Saying No
Moms are naturally very nurturing people who want the best for their children and families. Of course, no one does it quite like mom does, so that means mom is typically the one doing all of the things for everyone. Doing the grocery shopping. Making sure school picture outfits are selected. Dropping off treats for the bake sale. Ensuring everyone has the right items in their backpacks each day. The list goes on and on. And that’s just for the kids and home! Then you start to add in things like spending time with friends, volunteering at a local organization, work commitments, extended family invitations, and so many more life events that overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe the sensation of drowning many of us feel.
The reality of it is that moms don’t have to do it all. There’s no possible way. In order to stop the madness and overwhelm from consuming your entire being, you have to learn how to say no. I know what you’re thinking: everyone will be disappointed in you if you tell them no. It’s simply not true. Setting boundaries for yourself is healthy and necessary to manage stress in your daily life. Here are some ways to start setting those boundaries and start saying no.
Start Small
Making a life change can be challenging, especially when you’re used to always saying yes. Rather than immediately saying no to every single thing right away, consider saying no to one or two small things a week. If a friend asks you if you’re available to meet for a playdate but your schedule is already jam packed, simply say it won’t work for you and suggest another time. Then when the time comes to meet with that friend, the time will feel more intentional, and hopefully, relaxing.
Put Others in Charge
Like I mentioned earlier, there’s no possible way you can do everything yourself. You have to start giving some of your responsibilities to others to lighten your load. Maybe you have a discussion with your partner about redistributing the list of tasks that help run a household such as laundry and grocery shopping. Perhaps your kids are at an age where they can start helping with chores a little more around the house. Moms can do a lot but they cannot do it all. Don’t be afraid to bring in reinforcements.
Cast Away FOMO
Fear of missing out, or FOMO is a real thing we all feel from time to time. Of course you’d like to be able to go, see, and do all the things, but the reality is that things like time, energy, and money often get in the way. When you’re starting to get the FOMO itch, think about ways to soothe it. Remember the reasons why you needed to say no in the first place. Maybe you’re already attending another dinner that week and two dinners would put you in a place of energy depletion. Or perhaps you’ve already committed to cutting out paper apples for your son’s kindergarten class so you don’t have time to also string up cardboard acorns for your daughter’s preschool class. When you focus on the things you do have rather than missing out on the things you can’t really do anyways, it will help you appreciate it more.
By starting to set boundaries for yourself, you’ll begin to feel less stressed and more relaxed about the list of things you need to do. After all, saying no is a version of self-care most of us need to partake in more often than we do. You can even add it to your weekly self-care schedule! If you haven’t started this yet, we highly recommend our SELF-CARE FREEBIE to guide you through being more intentional with your time and your self-care. Sometimes all it takes is saying one no to lighten your load. It’s okay to put yourself first, you deserve it.
