How to Successfully Set Goals for Yourself
Goal setting is an important skill to have. It helps to keep us on track with where we want to be in many different aspects of our lives: our health, our relationships, our jobs, and even day-to-day tasks. Things like setting a goal to incorporate more self-care into our daily routines can have immense benefits to other parts of our lives. Oftentimes we set goals with the best intentions and over time we watch them slip out of our grasp. This doesn’t mean that we’re failures, it most likely means that we didn’t set ourselves up for success in the first place. There are certain reasons why we reach our goals in life. Let’s dive into three of the most common reasons we can’t reach a goal and look at some solutions to improve our goal-setting skills.
We pick an unrealistic goal.
Too often we center our hopes and dreams on unrealistic goals. Growing up, I always wanted to be a female Olympic gymnast. I remember watching those amazing athletes as a child and was sure that this was exactly what I wanted out of life. After all, we are told we can be anything if only we believe in ourselves and are willing to do the work. Years have passed and I still dream of being an Olympic gymnast. But now I am 61 and weigh 175 pounds. Just believing in myself isn't going to cut it, right?
Rather than set my sights on something so lofty, I should choose a goal that’s within the spectrum of my dreams but much more realistic. This is a healthier way of goal setting and will likely lead to me being more successful in reaching my goal over time. So instead of making my goal to be at the 2024 Paris games, I’ll change my goal to taking a senior gym class, meeting new friends with similar interests, and maybe even learn to do a summersault. Consider goals that you are suited for, are attainable, and will actually work for you.
2. We continue to stick with a plan that’s not working.
We all have patterns and habits that help us complete tasks from simple daily chores to month-long work projects. Depending on how you’ve built your habits and patterns, some may work really well and others might cause everything to come to a screeching halt. Too often, those that lead us to a stopping point are in place because we feel they are easier than other options or we may have had success with it in a previous setting. However, breaking that habit of turning to patterns that no longer serve us is a big step in reaching our goals. When making plans towards achieving a goal, think about being very specific in how you’re going to go about each step. Make sure these plans focus on you and not others, and that your plans allow for mistakes and restarts if needed.
3. We waste time casting blame.
Of course there are going to be times when a roadblock pops up and prevents us from meeting our goals. At this point there are two options: break through the barrier or complain about the barrier. Too often we cast blame on other people and things rather than accepting our mistakes and recognizing what we can do to improve the situation. You cannot control what others do, only how you react and move forward. Take each roadblock as an opportunity to assess where you are in the process of meeting your goal and make decisions about whether or not your plan is working.
Once you have a goal in mind, be very intentional about making a plan to see it through. Consider how important it is to make positive changes to your life in order to reach your goals. Break unhelpful patterns and learn new ones. And most importantly, never give up, even when there are barriers that try to stop you from achieving your goals.
