Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
The stretch of time between Thanksgiving and when the kids go back to school in the new year is a whirlwind. There are so many things to prepare for, attend, get done, and check off a list that it can easily get overwhelming. While you might have an easy time navigating your own personal schedule, what happens when others come to you and want to add things to your calendar? For lots of us, it’s hard to say no in the moment when someone asks for help or invites you to do something with them, but even more so during the holidays. Luckily I have some tips for setting boundaries that will help you feel more comfortable and be able to enjoy your holiday season that much more.
Make a schedule and stick to it. Sit down with your calendar and schedule out your time. Make notes of everything that’s going on this season that you have to be present for. Take a look at how many days you’re going to be busy. Then, schedule out time that’s just for you. Include days or evenings that are open to you for resting and recharging your batteries. Keep time open for your own self-care and doing things that you enjoy. So much of the holiday season can feel like it’s about doing things for others, but it’s extra important to make sure you’re still doing things for you!
Stick to your routine as much as possible. We love routines and predictability and it’s a great way to keep things in place and feel a sense of normalcy during a hectic time. Keeping things in place will help you to feel more grounded and also give you something to look forward to, no matter how small.
Make a script of what you’re going to say to people when you have to decline their invitation. Knowing what you’ll say if you’re put on the spot takes the anxiety out of the moment. It can be as simple as, “Thanks so much for inviting me, but unfortunately I’m busy that evening.” Practice saying this out loud as often as you need to until it feels natural. For people pleasers and those of us with a serious case of FOMO, this one definitely comes in handy.
Don’t say yes because you feel guilty. Let’s say Aunt Barb invites you to her house for dinner on the same night that you’ve already committed to something else. Immediately your mind tries to negotiate a way to do both in one evening. Your gut is saying you should tell her no, but your heart feels that pang of guilt for not spending more time with her. Rather than saying yes because you feel guilty, you have a couple of choices. One is to offer another time you are free to come over. If you’ve already reached your social calendar limit, just be honest. People tend to be far more understanding when you’re genuine and honest with them.
Take a shortcut when you can. Remember when you said you would bring homemade cookies for the class holiday party? Remember how it sounded like a decent idea at the time? Remember when pre-holiday you had the bandwidth for baking? Girl, go buy the cookies. A bakery out there is working overtime to fill the homes of people with cookies this season so please take advantage.
I hope these tips help you to create a little more space for yourself this holiday season and avoid the feelings of stress and burnout. Being realistic about your available time and mental bandwidth is extra important during this time of year. It might be hard to say no for so many different reasons, but I guarantee on the very first night you have scheduled to relax, you’ll be so thankful to be wearing those sweatpants.
