Making Mom Friends Is Hard

How many times have you found yourself in this scenario: you're navigating the grocery store aisles, one hand steering the cart and the other soothing a fussy little one. Your eyes meet another mom, who's maneuvering a similar situation. You exchange a knowing smile, a shared understanding that doesn’t require any words. But for whatever reason, the moment passes without any interaction and you’re still left feeling alone in the grocery store.

You might wonder why it’s so challenging to build these bonds between moms. There are tons of different reasons why making mom friends is hard. Firstly, the sheer demands of parenting can leave us feeling like ships passing in the night. Sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and constantly running your kids around to their various activities can make carving out time for social interactions seem like an elusive dream. It’s easy for moms to pin their lack of time on their busy schedules. But just like prioritizing self care, making time for your friends, or the pursuit of new ones, is equally as important. Make a scheduled time in your calendar to really show an effort in making friends with other moms and the rewards will amaze you. 

So you made the time to meet new mom friends, and now it’s time for the matchmaking dance. It’s now your job to find moms who share your interests, parenting styles, and schedules. This process can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. Look for mom friends in the places you already like to be: the library, the yoga studio, the brewery. It’s highly likely that these moms will already share some of your interests just because they are in the same places as you. You can also look into local or online moms groups as a stepping off point if you don’t know where to start. Embrace the diversity of experiences and approaches; these differences can lead to some of the most enriching connections you'll ever make.

Another reason it’s difficult to make mom friends is because of the comparison trap. In the age of social media, where only the highlight reel of parenting is often showcased, it's easy to feel inadequate in the presence of seemingly perfect moms. The truth is, we're all learning on the job, and embracing our imperfections can be the key to forging authentic connections. Opening up about our own challenges can create a safe space for other moms to do the same, forming the foundation of a genuine friendship. By creating these deeper connections within our relationships, the bond between you and other moms will be much stronger than those who just chat about fussy babies and whiny pre-teens. Really make an effort to be open and honest about yourself as a whole person, not just as a mom. 

It can feel overwhelming to try and make new mom friends, but it is absolutely vital and necessary to form connections with others you can relate to. By having a strong set of relationships you can count on, you’ll feel more supported and understood in your journey through motherhood. If you’re looking for more tips about how to form deeper connections with mom friends and other important people in your life, check out our workbook, “A Mom’s Guide to Building Connection.”