The Mental Load of Motherhood
You fall into bed at the end of the day. You think to yourself, “It was a good day. I got everything done that I needed to do. Everyone is happy. My kids are cared for and loved. I’m the best.” Let’s be real, this entire string of thoughts almost never happens at the end of the day. Instead you fall into bed and the guilt loop starts: I didn’t get anything done, everything is a mess, I made this mistake, I should have done more…
As moms we carry just about everything on our shoulders. This is called the mental load of motherhood. We’re busy organizing calendars, making sure everyone has every last item they need for their days, thinking months into the future, and about a million other things on a daily basis. It can feel overwhelming and tiring in so many ways. What we want you to realize is that these are normal feelings. Most moms feel the mental load of everything they have going on. What’s happening is that your brain is alerting you that you need to do something different to keep your mental load manageable. The overwhelm is your body letting you know you need to slow down and take a step back. Here are some things you can do to help feel better about the mental load.
1. Reach out to people you love and stay connected. It’s easy to fall into thinking all you can ever do is care for your home and your family, especially when the to-do list never ends. But you are more than just a mom or a wife or partner, and you need to maintain those relationships with others to keep your life in balance. Similarly, you want people in your corner to be able to support you if things get really hard.
2. Integrate things just for you. Make sure you’re taking time each day to do something that’s just for you. Maybe it’s taking a long walk outside or reading a great book. Carving out time for yourself signals to your brain that you value yourself and who you are on the inside. You are more than allowed to prioritize yourself over doing something for someone else.
3. Don’t worry about the list. Everyone has a list of things they need to do. Some days the list is longer than others. Some days you do a better job of checking items off the list than other days. The reality is that there will always be something else to do on the list. Even when the list feels done, there’s more that you likely could be doing. No one ever gets the list done. At the end of the day, if your list still has items on it, rip it up and throw it away. Tomorrow is a new day and you can tackle those things then.
