Post Holiday Blues
Does anyone else out there think the end of the holidays feels a bit like taking a stick to the eye? I mean sure, I appreciate the end of excess spending and the countless hours of shopping, wrapping, cleaning, cooking, etc. But also I feel an emptiness and let down. It’s over. All the loved ones are gone, it’s back to work and school, and the crushing weight of the cost of the holidays sets in. Plus, we have months to wait until the next long weekend. Call me a bah humbug, but this makes me sad.
My daughter Chelsea decorates her house like Santa’s workshop the day after Halloween. When you walk in her house, it really is a wonderland for the senses with Christmas music playing in the background, holiday potpourri and candles wafting through the air, and everywhere you look you see an elf or a wrapped gift and twinkling lights. She says she wants to make the holidays special and make beautiful memories for her kids.
But boy howdy, the day after Christmas all that goes right out the window, literally. December 26, Chelsea purges her whole house, inside and out, of anything remotely connected to Christmas and she actually seems happy doing this. I asked her, “What is the hurry? Why not just keep everything up for at least another week?” She replied, “Because it is over and it's always easiest to just pull the band aid off quickly.”
I guess she is right. But truth be told, I am not really like that. It is a bit harder for me to let sad feelings go.
Chelsea has never had trouble with getting over things. She really is a beast at handling the tough parts of life. When her high school boyfriend broke up with her she shrugged and said, “I am better off.” When the choir director told her she wasn’t good enough to sing in the play, she said she went out for track instead.
Now as she guides her kids as they maneuver through their own tough feelings, she is really amazing at knowing just what to say. I can see with my own eyes she is raising her kids to be strong and resilient, enjoy and appreciate their emotions, but she also teaches them to never allow a feeling to control you.
So as I pack up, slowly, every piece of Christmas at my house, on a respectable date of January 5th, I find myself wondering what advice I can give others like me to be more like Chelsea. Here are a few tips from what I have noticed and maybe this will help you as you move on to 2024!
Screw the resolutions. Too many of us set ourselves up for failure with a slew of out-of-reach goals for 2024. Chelsea sets goals and plasters them all over the fridge for the family to see, but they are reasonable goals that are rooted in consistency. Her fridge has goals for herself, her husband, and kids and they are always stated in the positive: what you WILL do, not what you WON’T. You are more likely to see a goal like “more please and thank yous from the toddler” rather than “stop the damn tantrums.”
Don’t forget the rewards. If you care enough about a goal to write it down, don’t forget how you will reward yourself for reaching steps towards it.
Build happiness into the schedule. Prioritize fun things, whatever that means for you and your family, and build them right into the schedule so you have plenty of happiness to look forward to.
Give yourself permission to have any feeling you want. I am a therapist and I know we cannot ignore our feelings. If I need a minute or two to cry through putting away my Christmas stuff, so be it. I will have my little cry and then get moving again.
Prioritize self care. Taking care of your body and soul is a must everyday. Sleep, hygiene, exercise, and healthy eating are just a few parts of a healthy self care routine.
