Signs You May Need Better Boundaries
Are you the type of person who has a hard time saying no to people? Are you someone who accepts every invitation you get? How about someone who just can’t manage to say no when someone asks for help? You aren’t alone, in fact, many of us have a really hard time setting boundaries, especially when it comes to time and people we love or care about. But on the backend of a lack of boundaries can come burnout and exhaustion from always saying yes and overextending ourselves. If you’re wondering whether or not you might need better boundaries in your life, consider the following scenarios:
1. You commit to events and then don’t want to go.
It’s hard to pass up an invitation, especially from someone you enjoy being around. But let’s say your friend invites you to a country music concert, but you aren’t keen on country music. Instead of saying no, you commit to going and then spend the next stretch of time dreading it. You’d much rather be doing just about anything else than sitting through two hours of music you don’t like. The ability to recognize the things you do and don’t want to do for any reason at all is a boundary many of us need to make stronger. I promise, whoever invited you would much rather you come and be invested in having a good time rather than just saying yes to try and please them.
2. You say yes to things and feel overwhelmed by the amount you have to do.
Cookies for the bake sale? Volunteering to pick up the team uniforms? Cleaning up the subdivision park? Yes, yes, yes. Many times we feel a sense of value when we say yes to people asking for our help. Of course it’s always good to lend a helping hand, but when you overextend yourself by saying yes to too many things, you might start to feel overwhelmed by the amount you’ve committed to. It’s okay to say no to people when they ask for your help. Recognizing when you feel like you already have too much on your plate is an important step in setting up this boundary that can help you feel calmer and more relaxed. Also, you’re more likely to say yes to the things you really enjoy.
3. You feel like you never have time to do the things you love.
In a combination of both of these two issues, you may start to feel like you don’t have time to do the things you actually want to do. This could be spending time with others or even more simply taking care of yourself. Time is a precious resource for moms as many of us feel like we don’t have enough of it in a day. It’s okay to be protective of your time and say no to the things that don’t serve you or interfere with what you truly want to be doing. Filling your cup is super important to maintain feeling your best in motherhood.
The next time you’re faced with an invitation or an ask for help, consider how much of your time and effort you want to put toward that. If the answer is none, trust your gut and move forward. Being honest with yourself and others about your boundaries is a great way to build and strengthen healthy relationships too.
