Stop Apologizing!
How many times a day do you find yourself saying “I’m sorry?” Think about how often those two little words slip out of your mouth or into a text message. Then consider how often it’s happening on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Many of us struggle with not wanting to make people upset or making sure others aren’t mad at us for something we did or did not do. When we think about setting boundaries for ourselves, that can be an uncomfortable thing because we have to keep them in place. Too often, however, we add “I’m sorry” when we tell someone we are unable to attend something or help them out, when we aren’t really sorry to begin with. Here are three things you need to stop apologizing for today.
Not Responding to People Immediately
We are all busy. Period. It does not matter if you were working, running errands, spending your time with your kids, or taking a nap just for you. Whatever reason you have for not responding to someone right away is absolutely your decision and you don’t need to apologize for it. Creating boundaries around when and how you communicate with others is important, especially when work might be involved. Setting times to check your messages or app notifications can help in this to make the time more structured and feel less like you’re missing out on something by not getting the message right away.
Putting Your Needs Before Others’
We talk about this a lot here at Everyday Wellness for Moms but we know so many moms still struggle with this concept. You are more than allowed and encouraged to take care of yourself first. Period. Like they say on the airplane: put on your oxygen mask before assisting others. You cannot pour from an empty cup no matter how hard you try, so don’t apologize for making the time to care for yourself first.
Saying No to Things That Don’t Align With You
Of course everyone likes an invitation and enjoys being included. But sometimes this comes at the cost of attending or being a part of things that don’t align with our personal goals and values. For example, you get invited to a new book club but it’s at the same time as your favorite workout class. You have found a lot of joy and connection by attending this class and missing it always leaves you feeling a little bummed. It’s okay to say no to the new book club, and yes, you are allowed to wish it was scheduled for another time too. Just because you’re invited doesn’t mean you have to say yes. If it doesn’t feel right, simply decline the invitation or the ask for help and keep moving forward.
Navigating boundaries and how to stay firm on them can be a challenge. If you find yourself struggling and apologizing for your boundaries all the time, take a look at our workbook, “A Mom’s Guide to Building Connection,” for more tips on how to conquer these yucky feelings head on and feel stronger in caring for yourself. Afterall, you deserve every bit of feeling your best!
