Finding Yourself After Having a Baby
Many times after having a baby, a woman will make a choice to stay home to care for her child. Sometimes this decision is easily made, and other times it can feel like there is no other choice in the matter. Things like child care costs and lack of a support system can cause new moms to choose to stay home to help raise their families. Whatever the reason for becoming a stay at home mom one thing is for certain: it’s a full-time, all-consuming job.
Moms tend to be the default parent, meaning they take on most of the responsibilities relating to parenting and caring for their children in a relationship. Especially as a stay at home mom with a brand new baby, women take ownership of things like sleep and feeding schedules. Over time, the strain and monotony of motherhood start to kick in and new stay at home moms can feel lost and alone.
We get it, this new baby is super important. Caring for its needs is the top priority and you are the best person to do these things. But the truth is that you cannot do it all by yourself. And the bigger truth is that you cannot do it by making yourself smaller. No, we don’t mean physically smaller, but rather taking away the things you need and love in order to better care for your baby. By losing yourself in motherhood, you’re really losing bits and pieces of who you are as a person.
Luckily this doesn’t have to be the norm. You can step out of this cycle of only caring for your new bundle of joy and put some life back into who you are as a person. Remember her? The one who had so many interests and passions before this tiny screaming human came into your life and totally shifted your personality? Yes, her. We’re talking to pre-baby you. We know she’s in there. Here’s how to get her back.
Cave out time for yourself. Self-care is super important, especially for new moms. You need to have time alone and time to do the things you want to do without being bombarded with baby responsibilities.
Think of what you enjoyed before the baby came along. Make a plan to incorporate those things back into your life, even a little at a time. Maybe right now you can’t attend your favorite workout class five nights a week, but you could start with one or two nights.
Try out new hobbies. The reality for new stay at home moms is you spend a lot of time in your house. Consider trying new hobbies that don’t require you to go somewhere but still incorporate your interests. Don’t be afraid to try something new and don’t be afraid of not enjoying it. Not every hobby ends up being entertaining, and that’s okay.
Involve your new baby in the things you love. Bringing your baby along can be a great way to bond with them and spend time doing something you enjoy at the same time. Be excited about bringing your new little sidekick along with you!
Being a new stay at home mom is all about balance. Of course caring for your child and your family is super important, but keeping your identity and personality intact is equally important too. A little self-care each day goes a long way into making yourself a healthier and happier person, and that radiates directly into your family. For more tips and ideas on how to incorporate self-care into your new life as a stay at home mom, check out our workbook, “A Mom’s Guide to Wellness.”
