Combatting Isolation and Loneliness as a Mother

It doesn’t matter whether you have a brand new baby or you’re deep into the teenage years, motherhood can be isolating and lonely. Think about it: you spend so much of your time and effort caring for your children, your family, and your household. It’s easy for all of those things to get swept up into the way you think and feel about your identity. Maybe you think of yourself as being a mom first and everything comes after that. The more we become consumed by the idea that we are just moms, the less we feel like the person we truly are on the inside. This feeling can lead to extreme loneliness because you are led to believe that no one else can relate to what you’re going through.

But the reality is that we are individuals that are completely separate from motherhood. We are all people with unique personalities and identities that have nothing to do with being a mom. And while we might get caught up in believing that we’re having a unique experience in this, most of us are going through the same exact thoughts. It can be difficult to break this cycle and combat your isolation, but once you start doing it, I promise you’ll feel so much better.

Think about the ways you’re connected to other adults. This could be your partner, a friend, a sibling, or a coworker. What type of relationship do you have with them? Do you trust them as a part of your support system? Do you want them to be a bigger part of your life? All of these questions can help us to think about how we interact with other adults and will allow you to be your truest self around them. Making these connections outside of motherhood is a great way to feel like yourself and have an identity rooted in your own personality and interests. Connecting with other adults, especially women, builds a support system that is incredibly valuable for moms.

Now make a list of all the ways you connect with others. We all have a list ten miles long of the things we do for our kids, our families, and our homes every day. But when was the last time you listed out how you connect with others? Or even better, when is the last time you listed out all of your own personal interests? By shifting your perspective from what you do for others to what you do for yourself, you can start to branch out and explore who you truly are outside of motherhood. Forging that identity, or even getting it back, can open doors to combat the feelings of isolation in motherhood.

We know making connections as a mom can be hard. That’s why we created our workbook, “A Mom’s Guide to Building Connection,” so that you can know step by step how to make better and more meaningful connections with other adults. Taking the steps to feel less lonely will make you feel stronger and more whole.