Why is it so Hard to Ask for Help?
Being a mom comes with a lot of moving parts to keep up with. From organizing family calendars to keeping bedtimes straight to ensuring everything is always ready to go for school, daycare, and work, it can feel overwhelming and nearly impossible to complete all on your own. That’s because in reality you can’t do it all on your own. Yes, we know you are a superhero. We know you got this. You are stronger than just about everyone. But the truth is you don’t have to be. It’s okay to ask for help. You’re allowed to lean on someone else. It can feel really hard to ask for help and here are a few reasons why:
We don’t want to feel like a burden. No one wants to feel like they’re taking advantage of someone else or using too much of their time. However, if someone is offering to help you, let them! They wouldn’t offer if it was too much or they didn’t want to. In most cases, you aren’t being a burden to them by asking them for help either, especially if it’s something small and manageable. Change the narrative from, “I don’t want to ask because I feel like a burden,” to, “I am asking because I can trust and rely on this person for support when I need it most.”
We see vulnerability as a weakness. It isn’t easy to seem weak in front of others, especially when it comes to motherhood. Super mom is a term for a reason. The busy mom and tired mom are not badges of honor, they’re a slippery slope that leads to exhaustion and burnout. Being vulnerable in front of others does not make you weak or less than that person. It actually makes you a stronger person for being able to share what you need the most.
We assume others are too busy or don’t want to help. When it feels like someone might not have the time to help you, it can be easy to make assumptions about how invested they are in your life. But you’ve likely heard the ending to the phrase, “You know what happens when you assume…” There can be a lot of unnecessary anxiety that comes with making assumptions about what others will say or do in response to being asked for help. The easiest and best thing to do is ask anyways. Many times, the person you’re asking will be more than willing to help when you ask for it. And if they are unable, they might offer an alternative option or time.
Asking for help can feel daunting and comes with a lot of extra emotions and anxiety for some people. Just remember, you aren’t expected to do this alone and asking for help is completely normal.
