Everyone knows new parents can be filled with anxiety. In fact, many dads-to-be say that they are fearful of the whole process because they are not confident in what they are supposed to do. Some new dads say they have never even touched, let alone cared for a baby before having their own. The number one fear, according to new dads, is they will make a mistake with their new baby. Often, new dad anxiety causes dads to withdraw and wait for the baby to get a bit older before jumping “all in” to the dad role.
Dads have to keep this in mind; it’s ok to be anxious or afraid. Really, it’s completely natural and understandable to be a bit freaked out. Anxiety is fueled by the unknown and unless you were a hands-on dad before, of course, you’re anxious. However, pulling back and waiting to jump in with your baby comes with a huge price tag in terms of the bonding process. This also leads to your partner misunderstanding why you’re pulling back and causing her to feel alone or abandoned.
Your baby, and partner, need you with them every step of the way. Being a new dad is just that, new. The more you know, the more you combat anxiety. And just like with every new task, it just takes information and practice to become a pro.
Here are a few tips to tackle new dad anxiety quickly
Tell yourself it is ok to not be an expert at first. Your little one doesn’t need an expert. What they really, really absolutely must-have is their dad just being there. If it takes a bit of time to figure out the diapering, feeding, soothing, or the million other things you need to know, don’t sweat it. As far as your baby is concerned, you’re already the A team, the first string, the top of the heap. That’s all you dad, and It’s awesome.
Ask for help. It’s ok to ask friends and relatives for help. If you are not sure or confident about something, ask someone who loves you to show you how to do it. Usually, loved ones don’t want to be overbearing so they wait to be asked. So, ask away.
Talk to your partner about your fears. Don’t allow your anxieties to drive a wedge with your partner. Guaranteed, she will be heartened that you reach to her. She will feel that you are in this together and she may even share she doesn’t have all the answers either.
Get educated. Read, take classes, go online. Many questions are easily answered if you just research a bit.
Practice, practice, practice. If bathing, feeding, or diapering makes you anxious take it a step at a time and give yourself a minute or two to get the hang of it. If you don’t scrub every little part of your little one at bath time, no biggie. If you kept his head above water and he had a good soak, congrats, and keep at it!
Remind yourself, you’re doing your best and that’s all your baby needs.
