The Positive Effects of Praising Your Kids
Praise can be a wonderful confidence booster and increase positive feelings. It can help motivate, encourage, and reward. But some people, especially kids, could care less about praise, and keep on marching to the beat of their own drummer. The reality is that even if it seems like your child doesn’t outwardly respond to praise, you need to use it with them on a regular basis.
It was originally thought that too much praise would teach a child to have an over-inflated sense of worth. Parents shied away from praising their children too often so they wouldn’t grow up with an ego bigger than they could manage. We’ve since learned that praise is an excellent way to reinforce good behavior in kids. You can teach your kids how to appreciate the value of verbal praise when it’s associated with every positive reward you provide. After a while, they will begin to realize that good things happen when they receive praise from you as a mom.
Here are some tips for using praise with your kids, even the ones who might not see it as a positive thing right now:
Go looking for positive behavior and reward it
This could be the smallest of things you notice your kid doing during the day. It might be something they already do but you haven’t always rewarded them for it. This might be something like finishing a craft project, picking up their Legos from the floor, or completing their homework right after school. It could also look like smaller acts of kindness they display towards someone else or when they try something new for the first time. When you notice this happening, acknowledge and reward the behavior by saying things like “good job,” “you did it,” or “I’m very proud of you.”
Words and actions count as praise
Verbal praise is always a positive way to let your kid know you recognize the great things they’re doing. But there are some instances where immediate verbal praise might not be possible right in the moment like at a sports game or a recital. Similarly, there are times when you want to show a larger amount of praise for things they’ve done well or show it in a different way. A smile, a touch on the shoulder, a high five, thumbs up, or a hug are all actions that show your child praise and are a positive reinforcement as well.
Use praise as baby steps to bigger goals
We all know parenting is difficult for so many different reasons. Encouraging your kids to engage in positive behaviors, act in certain ways, or try something new can be a challenge, especially with strong-willed kids. You can use these acts of praise to help your kids build upon skills and reach bigger goals you have for them or they have for themselves. For example, maybe your child is a picky eater. The next time they try something new by themselves, regardless of what it is, you provide them praise. They are more likely to keep trying new things on their own because of the positive reinforcement you provided them. Over time, they will be able to continue to make these choices on their own because you encouraged them and provided praise at the appropriate times.
We all want to see our kids succeed and be happy and healthy. By giving them praise and rewarding positive behaviors, they will grow into confident and independent individuals.
