How to Know if You're Being Love Bombed

A love bomb sounds like something in an old 60s movie. When set off, the people of the world could fall head over heels in love with each other and live in peace and harmony. A non-violent explosion that sent good vibrations to everyone to put aside their differences and lovingly coexist. A real blast to unify mankind. Maybe even starring the Beatles or the Monkees. 

Love bombing in a relationship, however, has a bit less of an altruistic translation. It is no laughing matter. When one partner is love bombing the other, they may be showering that person with gifts and attention, but with the ulterior motive of controlling that person’s every move. They force the relationship to evolve very quickly. They want to manipulate by over involvement. They use the gifts and attention they are giving as leverage for control. 

Another characteristic of a love bomber that isn’t readily apparent is they are often very jealous and try to shelter their partner from being around other people. They try to keep their partner all to themselves. It’s not unusual for a love bomber to be tracking their partner’s whereabouts at all times. When they’re not tracking their partner down, the love bomber might use social media to show their intentions. In a nutshell, they crave attention and control. Be aware of these warning signs.

How can someone overcome a love bombing relationship? One of the first ways is to set up healthy boundaries. This requires a reexamination of what space you need in order to maintain your comfort zone. What do you need to feel safe and in control? This may entail contacting a therapist or a trusted (impartial) acquaintance to get their thoughts on your situation.

When you discuss this with your partner, be mindful of the love bomber’s reaction. If they are kind and patient and willing to work out a resolution in a caring manner, that is a good sign that their intentions are good. However, if they become aggressive,combative, and want to shift blame at you, there may be some real issues that need to be addressed. 

Trust your gut. Good relationships require patience and understanding. They are not one sided and controlling. Set healthy boundaries and communicate your needs to your partner. Relationships work best when both partners are able to set healthy boundaries and still are happy together.